The Fantastic Four Food Groups


The Food and Drug Administration decided to allow produce companies to radiate vegetables like spinach and lettuce to kill bacteria. The practice has been allowed for meats for years. So with the food pyramid filling out with a trefoil, sounds like its time to get me some superpowers! "With great fiber comes great responsibility." But what can everyone else look forward to?

1. Glow-in-the-dark guinea pigs.

2. Vegetable stands with nuclear capability.

3. Rabbits that get stronger the madder they get.

4. Complaints from bacteria rights activists.

5. See-through elephants.

6. A lot of armchair dentistry (What with the X-rays and all, get it?).

7. Lead-lined salad tongs.

8. Mushrooms that produce namesake clouds.

9. Popeye going Kosher.

10. Attack of the 50 foot cow.